Pimping Ain't Easy, It's Just Awful. It's This Week's Police Blotter

A misogynistic moron slapped a woman in the face and stole her purse on April 21 after she refused to walk the streets for him.

The 20-year-old victim said she was in a candy store with the suspect on Fulton Street between S. Elliot Place and S. Portland Avenue at around 9:30 p.m. when he asked her if she was going to “ho for him.” The victim refused, which resulted in a slap in the face. The victim then left the scene, and the wannabe pimp gave chase. A few blocks later the perp slapped her in the face again and stole her bag, which contained an assortment of IDs and $120.

Strangled

A raging man strangled a woman on April 20.

The 37-year-old victim told cops that she was in a dispute with her attacker at the Ingersoll Houses on St. Edwards Street between Park and Myrtle avenues at around 11:15 p.m. That’s when the 21-year-old man snapped and wrapped his hands around her neck. Officer Odnel Cazena collared the perp.

Cell Rob

Two brutes beat up a guy for his Blackberry on April 22.

The 33-year-old victim told cops he was walking behind a group of five men on Vanderbilt and Greene avenues at around 8:20 p.m. That’s when two members of the group doubled back and began punching and kicking the victim. They then stole his phone.

Menace at Marshall’s

A thief swiped a woman’s purse while she shopped at the Marshall’s in the Atlantic Terminal Mall on April 15.

The victim told cops she was looking at clothes in the Atlantic Avenue department store at around 8:30 p.m. when she placed her bag on the floor. When she returned her attention to it 15 minutes later the bag, containing a digital camera, an E-reader, a Blackberry and an ID was missing.

Fulton Not-So-Grand

A thief snatched an absent-minded barfly’s bag on April 17.

The 27-year-old victim told cops she was drinking at the bar at Fulton Street and Grand Avenue at around 8:45 p.m. when she left her bag on a chair and went to the bathroom. When she returned the bag, containing an assortment of credits cards, was missing. Two days later Officer Michael Girardin arrested a suspect.

Car Swipe

A thief stole a wallet from a car parked at Fulton and St. Felix streets on April 18.

The 27-year-old victim told cops he had left his wallet in the car at around 4 p.m. When he returned, the wallet, along with an assortment of IDs and car insurance information, was missing.

Baby Dee Dee Bandit!

A thief stole a slew of baby equipment over the course of February, March and April.

An employee at a storage facility for Baby Dee Dee on Hall Street between Flushing and Park avenues said that she was taking inventory on April 20 at around 11 a.m. when she realized more than 30 items were missing. She then noticed that the same missing Baby Wraps Sleep Nests — valued at $6,630 total — were being sold in bulk on E-Bay.

Restaurant Rip Off

A thief swiped a woman’s purse while she was having dinner at Chez Oskar on April 21.

The 46-year-old victim told cops she hung the purse on her chair at the restaurant on DeKalb Avenue at Adelphi Street at around 8 p.m. When she finished her meal she realized her purse, containing a cellphone and keys, was missing. To top it off, the thief had already used her credit card at the Jay Street subway station.

Bandit Du Monde!

A thief stole woman’s purse from Autour Du Monde on April 20.

The 34-year-old victim told cops she placed her purse on the back of her chair at the French restaurant at Fulton Street and Clinton Avenue at around 10:45 p.m. When she went to retrieve her bag about 15 minutes later she realized it was missing, along with a cellphone, passport, and a debit card.

Pratt Bandit

A thief stole a Pratt student’s laptop on April 22.

The victim told cops he had left his desk in a school building at the campus on Willoughby Avenue between Hall Street and Classon Avenue at around 7 p.m. When he returned five minutes later his Macbook Pro, valued at $1,700, was gone.

Purse Snatch

A daring thief grabbed a woman’s purse off of her shoulder on April 23.

The 19-year-old victim told cops she was at Emerson Place and Classon Avenue at around 4:30 p.m. when the perp ran up from behind and grabbed her bag. She lost an iPod, passport, ID and credit card.

Bike Bandit!

A thief stole a bike locked in front of the Mark Morris Dance Center on Lafayette Avenue on April 21.

The 43-year-old cyclist said he chained up his bike at the revered dance Mecca on Rockwell Place at around noon. When he returned to the bike nine hours later it was gone. The bike was worth $1,130.

iSwipe

A young thief stole an iPhone right out of a woman’s hand on April 23.

The 28-year-old victim told cops she was walking and texting at Lafayette and Washington avenues at around 11 p.m. when the 13-year-old suspect grabbed the phone right out of her hands. Officer Kha Dang then canvassed the area for the youngster and arrested him.