Community Corner

5 Things You CAN'T Do In The Neighborhood Today

Call it what you want—Denied, Not Allowed, Hands Off. But it's still not happening today, or maybe ever.

Here at Patch, we usually focus on events or activities our readers will have a pretty good chance of attending. 

But today, we're trying something different. 

Here is a list of 5 Things You Will NOT Be Doing Today (or any other day, probably):

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1. Relieving yourself (legally) at the Visitor's Center in Fort Greene Park. Sorry... the restroom facilities are not open to the public.

2. Using the bathrooms at the playground nearby—that is if you're single, childless, without even a niece or nephew to tag along with. To enter the playground, you must be accompanied by a child. 

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3. Shimming up a lightpole in an attempt to impress R&B superstar Alicia Keys. As this Brooklyn man found out Tuesday, the NYPD does not look upon this activity favorably.

4. Double parking—except on days/times when alternate side parking rules are in effect. Any other times, you will get a $130 ticket, as this Patch editor knows ALL too well. 

5. Busking. Though the boombox has shrunk to the size of an iPhone, playing music on a streetcorner or any other public space without a permit is illegal. But if you do it, don't act like this woman caught in the act on an MTA bus in Williamsburg (Warning: lots of F-bombs being thrown about here).


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