A Wealth of Dating Options in the Neighborhood

After many boring and awkward messages through online dating site OkCupid, this one caught my attention: "You know what's ruining dating in New York City? Too many choices."

That's an intriguing pick-up line if there ever was one, so I took the bait.

The next day I found myself discussing Choice Theory over coffee with Matt, a bright and attractive social psychologist, in the East Village. (Apparently, he's too cool to come to Brooklyn.)

A surplus of options on the dating scene, according to Matt — who didn't want to have his last name published, not on the first date — made finding that special someone more stressful than elsewhere. In New York our dating choices are essentially unlimited. No matter how great the guy or gal is that you're dating, there is the all-too-real likelihood that someone smarter, cuter, more ambitious, richer, or whatever is right around the corner.

So why commit? Why not continue looking for the "perfect match"? That's what Matt was saying to me, anyway.

After hearing his off-beat pick up line, my first thought was, "This guy's cute." Tall, confident yet relaxed posture, bluish-green eyes: not bad. Secondly, why is he telling me how impossible it is to date, on our first date?

Matt's theory was intriguing, but it seemed a little too all-encompassing. I wondered whether living in a neighborhood like Clinton Hill or Fort Greene can help narrow down one's choices. It's fairly easy here to find a small group of local friends and a few core hang-out spots. Then we can have acquaintances introduce us to our potential dates, so we're not overwhelmed by choice. But if your social circle is small or closed, choices can actually seem too limited, and we complain that we're not meeting anybody new. Is there a happy meeting ground?

The next day, I decided to find out whether some of my peers in Clinton Hill agreed with Matt. Where else could I go to get the local scoop on choice, but Choice Market on Lafayette Avenue?

"My friends here tell me that they wouldn't normally have commitment issues, but since moving to New York City, they feel they do," said one customer who would only give his first name, Jordan. "We never know the right time to commit in a relationship. I think we're more picky here than elsewhere in the country."

Another woman, 30, who declined to give her name or be photographed, disagreed completely with Matt's Choice Theory. "For us, it just kinda happened," she said about the beginnings of her current long-term relationship. "We never thought, could there be someone else." So for this couple, choice had never been a problem. They met and it felt right, so they went with it.

Looks like Matt's Choice Theory doesn't quite hold up this side of the East River. I'm curious what he'll say in response to this. I guess that, to find out, I'll have to go on a second date with him. Um, I mean, a follow-up interview.

 But then again, I could always find someone more attractive, smarter, funnier…in my own neighborhood.